It started with an
attraction
A connection
Modern technology
Introduced me to
perfection
We met on the internet and quickly became very close. Late
night phone calls, many visits. He lived about an hour from me until he moved
in the area for college. The time we had together was spent cooking, kissing,
and sleeping. Our 2 year relationship consisted of a one-sided love and no
commitment. It became so hard for me to bear being with him. I knew many times
that when he looked in my eyes, I was not the girl he wanted me to be. We
developed a very real friendship and that is something that is never easy to
let go of. But I knew that whatever it was that we had would slowly destroy me.
His kiss, his skin, his companionship were my weaknesses and he knew that. Every
time I would try and distance myself, he could sense it and he would pull me
back in. He told me that he didn’t want to be together, but he loved being with
me, and he loved touching my skin and being around me and spending time with
me. He liked me, he said. But not in the way I wanted him to.
He left this watch on my desk when he came over once. When I
told him he left it, he told me to throw it away. For some reason I couldn’t
trash his old cologne scented watch. I would lay in my bed late at night and
listen to the constant ticking as if he was always right there with me. I
didn’t even notice the day that it stopped ticking. Letting go of someone who
has made me feel my best is something very hard for me to do, but letting go of
someone who has made me feel my worst is necessary.
His watch remained on my nightstand and became a constant
reminder of what it felt like to love someone who could not love me back. Little
by little, as I rid him from my life, I allowed myself to take another step on
the path to true happiness.
I'm not sure how to let
you go
Or even if I want to
I just wish I could
tell you
How much I really love
you
It gets harder every
time
My heart is feeling
sore
And as much as I love
you
I can't do it anymore
